8 months. People keep saying it gets easier. Maybe for some. Yesterday he fell asleep on my chest after a feed — the photo people post. I looked at him and felt flat. Not hate. Not love. Just nothing. Then guilty for the nothing. Then angry at myself for keeping score on feelings...
Mental Health
Postpartum Depression
PPD and PPA are medical conditions, not failures of love. If you’re numb, rageful, scared, or grieving the life you had — you’re not alone here.
18 members
15 posts
Do I have postpartum depression. They used baby blues. Week three the kitchen light was still on
They used baby blues. The brochure had two weeks. Week three the kitchen light was still on. Do I have postpartum depression sat there like a maybe, not a score. I did not take the quiz. This is not a chest photo and a nothing I already had a name for. I had a week that would not...
Postpartum anxiety. The monitor was green. The body would not believe it
The monitor was green. Night. The body would not believe it. This is not a fever I looked up and closed and opened again. This is not aisle four and a cart. This is not sitting up on the edge of the bed with a panic that already had a name. I had a light that had already done its...
Postpartum rage. The bottle lid. The size of anger did not match
The bottle lid. The size of anger did not match the object. Kitchen, not a conference table, and not a mug that had already had that sentence in another season. I stood with the parts in my hand longer than a lid needs. The blues brochure had never put a lid on the page. Did a bo...
Postpartum depression vs postpartum anxiety. The clipboard had the other letters first
The clipboard had the other letters first. Depression. A later sentence took it off and left anxiety. I did not get a table. I did not get a quiz. I got two names in one six-week room, and a wait while they decided which letters would stay. This is not panic then anxiety on a dif...
Postpartum depression in men. The night feed was my shift. I was supposed to be the fine one
The night feed was my shift. I was supposed to be the fine one. The size arrived anyway. This is not a paper with my name in a clinic chair they give the partners. This is not a meeting I held at 10am. I had a kitchen that was supposed to be ordinary at 2 a.m., and a body that ha...
Delayed postpartum depression. The blues week had ended. The calendar already had a four
The blues week had ended. A later month started. The calendar already had a four on it. This is not a kitchen light that never made it past week three. This is not a chest photo I already had letters for. I had a stretch that had let me put the brochure away, and then a month tha...
How long does postpartum depression last. The visit had a beginning. The year would not finish leaving
The six-week visit had a beginning I could point at. Then the year would not finish leaving. The clock wanted months. This is not an afternoon that still tasted like a panic. This is not a kitchen light in week three as the whole story. The name had already happened in a room. Th...
Postpartum OCD. The lock had already turned. I went back
The lock had already turned. I went back. I will not write the thought. This is not a green monitor the body would not believe. This is not a mat I never passed. The door had already done its job. The hand would not let the job stay done. Did a lock that had already turned still...
Postpartum PTSD. The hallway still had the delivery. A door sounded like the room
The hallway still had the delivery. A door sounded like the room. I was already home. This is not a silent drive after a session with a name I had booked. This is not a light that would not let my hands go. I had an ordinary hinge, and a body that was still in the other building....
Postpartum depression after 1 year. The candle. The brochure’s year. It still had a seat
The candle. The brochure’s year. It still had a seat. This is not a later month that started after the blues had already gone. This is not eight months and a chest. This is not week three and a kitchen light. I had a year they had already printed, and a size that had not read the...
High functioning postpartum depression. The waiting room had to look finished. The car was the appointment
The waiting room had to look finished. The car was the appointment. This is not a meeting I held at 10am. This is not underwater at 3am as the whole split. I had a public chair that still required a face, and a parking row that finally let the size sit down. Did the waiting room...
Postpartum depression not bonding. The onesie still had the tag. The bath went cold
The onesie still had the tag. The bath water went cold. This is not a chest photo and a nothing. This is not hate or love as a score. I had a drawer that stayed new, and a tub that finished without me ever deciding it had started. Did bonding arrive as a tag that never came off —...
Postpartum depression after c section. The visit used the scar. The kitchen still had the size
The visit used the scar. The kitchen still had the size. They had a sentence for stitches. They did not have one for the sink. This is not a hallway that still sounded like the room. This is not a wound-care page. I had a six-week that named the line, and a kitchen that kept the...
Postpartum depression breastfeeding. The pump parts were in the sink. The ounces were not the appointment
The pump parts were in the sink. The ounces were not the appointment. This is not a lid that got a size of anger. This is not a debate about which bottle is allowed. I had a drying rack that kept being the day’s evidence, and a mood that would not sit in a number. Did the pump pa...