EMDR today hit harder than I expected. Drove home in silence. Couldn't do small talk at dinner. Partner asked if I'm "okay" and I said yeah because explaining felt like another task. Not in crisis. Just flat and tired in a way sleep won't fix tonight.
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Trauma
Healing isn’t linear. This tribe is for people processing trauma at their own pace — with room for therapy wins, setbacks, and days you can’t name it yet.
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Do I have PTSD. The porch light was still on. I did not take a quiz
Do I have PTSD sat as a maybe. The porch light was still on. I did not take a quiz. This is not a session I had already booked. This is not a coat that would not pass the mat. I still had to go back to the table, and a word I would not say out loud while the light kept the stoop....
PTSD flashbacks. The tap still ran. This kitchen. The body was still in the other year
The tap still ran. This kitchen. The body was still in the other year. This is not a hallway that still had a delivery in it. This is not a silent drive after a session with a name I had booked. I had ordinary water, and a year that would not stay in the past tense. Did a flashba...
Childhood trauma in adults. The birthday card still used the old nickname
The birthday card still used the old nickname. I was already grown. The table was this table. This is not a dinner after a session where “okay” was the shorter answer. This is not a quiz. I had a name that had not updated, and a leftover that would not sit in a form. Did childhoo...
PTSD triggers at work. The lights still hummed. The meeting had not started
The lights still hummed. I was already in the chair. The meeting had not started. This is not a stairwell while they were still talking. This is not my name waiting on an agenda. The leftover arrived before anyone had used a word, and a body that would not stay in this year. Did...
Delayed PTSD years later. The same ringtone. The office was this office
The same ringtone. The office was this office. The year was not that year. This is not a calendar that already had a four after a baby. This is not a session I had just left. I had ordinary desks, and a leftover that had waited until the ringtone was ordinary too. Did it arrive y...
Complex PTSD. The apology still sat in drafts. I did not send it
The apology still sat in drafts. I did not send it. The thread had already gone quiet. This is not a dinner where okay was the shorter answer. This is not a stages list. I had a sentence that would not become a send, and a leftover that would not sit in a form about who I was all...
PTSD nightmares. The pillow was this pillow. The year was not this year
The pillow was this pillow. Morning. The year in the leftover was not this year. This is not a panic that sat on the edge of the bed while they stayed asleep. This is not a tap that still ran in the kitchen. I had ordinary cotton, and a night that would not stay finished when the...
Hypervigilance PTSD. The chair still faced the door. The menu was ordinary
The chair still faced the door. The menu was ordinary. This is not a doorway with nothing behind it. This is not a lock I went back to. I had a seat that would not turn, and a leftover that arrived before anyone had come in. Did hypervigilance arrive as a chair that still faced t...
PTSD vs anxiety. The waitlist used anxiety. The intake used PTSD
The waitlist used anxiety. The intake used PTSD. I did not get a table. I did not get a quiz. This is not stress then anxiety on a clipboard. This is not panic then a swap. This is not a work note and an after-hours line. I got two names in two rooms, and a wait while neither sen...
How long does PTSD last. The jacket still hung by the door
The jacket still hung by the door. Years. How long sat with the sleeves. This is not a year after a visit I could point at. This is not a ringtone that showed up late in an office. This is not a coat that would not pass the mat. The leftover had not finished leaving, and nobody h...
Dissociation. The dryer had already stopped. I did not remember starting it
The dryer had already stopped. The load was still in it. I did not remember starting it. This is not a tap that still ran in this kitchen. This is not a kettle that had not boiled. I had ordinary laundry, and a stretch of minutes that would not stay in the room with me. Did disso...
Emotional flashbacks. The rain was ordinary. Nobody had raised a voice
The rain on the office window was ordinary. Nobody had raised a voice. The leftover was already a size that did not match the room. This is not a tap that still ran. This is not a pillow that kept another year. I had ordinary weather, and a feeling that arrived without a picture....